Saturday, August 11, 2007

We are returning home without children

We are writing this post with a heavy heart.

We have spent the last week visiting the girl. During this time, we have come to the conclusion that this girl has some very deep emotional and behavioral issues. Therefore, we made the decision that we could not adopt her. This was a relatively easy decision for us.

The hard part is that by not adopting the girl, we are unable to adopt the boy. Ukraine will not separate siblings for international adoptions (but they will for adoptions by other Ukraine families). This is so difficult for us because we love the boy very much and feel that he is our child.

We are feeling a lot of grief around losing the boy. Our facilitators are not providing us any support. We look forward to being back in the States with friends and family.

We return on Tuesday.

11 comments:

Aunt Jeannie said...

What a week! Lots of ups and downs! I'm sorry things didn't work out as you wanted.

Much love to you both! Hope to see you when you get back! Let me know what you need! I'm here for you both!

deb said...

I'm so sorry. I was really hoping that it would turn out for the best. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. ~Deb

mike said...

How frustrating. It easy to feel frustrated and angry from here - I can't imagine what it must feel like for the two of you. We really admire you guys, truly. Look forward to seeing you soon.

Jenni said...

I am so so sorry to hear this. Our thoughts and prayers are with you both. If you need anything, we are here for you ...

Miki_A said...

I'm so very sorry. My thoughts are with you. Please take care of yourselves. Travel safely! - Miki

Sandy said...

Oh my dears, I am so very sorry. Unfortunately I will be leaving on Denver on Tues and will not be able to see you in person. Please know that my love is very much with you and that I will be calling soon. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. Love you both, Sandy

Jim said...

Jeff and Kathleen,

I am sorry to hear the sad news. My thoughts and best wishes for a happy ending to your sincere desire to find a child are with you. Know that I am here if you need anything at all.

Love Jim

k said...

Kathleen, welcom home. I'm sorry to hear that you returned home without children. It is ok, it is not your time yet. Please be patient; you have enough love in you to give and you will have your children.

Yes, it is saddening and difficult but this too will come to pass and you will find children that are your. Carol B.

Kathy & Matt said...

We have followed your journey via your blog. For those of us who are also hoping to adopt from Ukraine, it is so helpful to hear all the experiences of families going before us. Thank you for generously sharing your experiences.
That being said, we are feeling so sad for you and can understand the grief you are feeling. It is such a long, often challenging process and to have it end without the anticipated result is heartbreaking.
Please know that we, like many other people you've touched through this blog, are praying for you now.

MamaPoRuski said...

We were in Ukraine the same time as you and followed your blog as a form of support as we had our own struggles there. We grieved with you for this loss and have been praying for you. Periodically I check back to see if there is an update or a contact email, but there isn't so have decided to post hoping you recieve it. You are still in my prayers. God Bless!

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